американские добромольцы докладывают.

Меж тем, новости от американских добровольцев с Остфронта.  
Перемога близка как никогда! Потерь нет.

Умирают, но не сдаются и надеются скоро встретиться с остальными товарищами, чтобы вместе зиговать в чертогах Вальгаллы  Биндеры.

• 
  «Sitting close to the frontline, the last safe mode of transportation leaves for greener pastures. A core group of about 30 foreign fighters remains out of around 200 people who were here just minutes ago...
• The base we came from was struck by rockets in the early morning hours. People we lived with for a couple of days are confirmed dead. It is only a matter of time before our location is targeted. We are about to be cut off by a Russian tank column any day now...
• Food, water, and ammunition dwindle slowly. The mood is somber, people are sending their last messages to friends and family.
• Where is NATO? Where is the supposed good of western civilization?»

Сукасукасука. Спасите эльфов, товарищи!  Напишите им ласковое предсмертное напутствие по этой сцылке, пошлите им на помощь НАТУ и Супермена Цукермана!